Dear Kiki

Dear Kiki,

I made you a promise on the day that I first met you, and I repeated those words until the day I left. I promised that I would always love you, and that I would keep you safe. When you were older, I promised that one day we would leave together, but I left alone. The only promise that I haven’t broken is that I will always love you, and I wish I could break it, because it hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt to not see you everyday, to not know where you are, or how you are. I think of you everyday. I’m sorry that I stopped visiting. It wasn’t my choice.

When I left I was promised that I would have you back one day. I said that if the time ever came that the person I left you with could no longer care for you, that they tell me first, and I would do everything within my power to take you. Kiki, you were my first true love. You saw me cry, everyday, and although I know that when I left you won’t have understood, there’s a part of me that desperately hopes you heard me when I said goodbye, and that I loved you more than anything in this awful world.

Sometimes I’m sorry that I ever pushed to picked you up. I wish that I’d never known you, or your sisters, because that way I would be free from the sickness of worry that I carry around. Nothing can make it go away. No matter how good a day I have, you’re always there. I have no way of finding out where you are or how you are, and it makes me feel so out of control of my own life. I thought that leaving would save me, and it did, in so many ways, all save the part of me that was your mother. I spent years feeling worthless and when you came along I had a purpose, someone loved me for who I was, and it was beautiful. But even that wasn’t enough to fix what was broken beyond repair.

I guess I’m writing this in the hope that someone who knows something about how you are will see it, and there will be a part of them that still loves me the way I still love them, and they will let me know that you’re okay. I know that it’s hard, I know that it hurts, and I know that you it must be so confusing, but it had to be this way. I stayed for as long as I could, you know that, I said it often enough. We are who we are, and we love who we love, but I couldn’t keep trying to make something so wrong right. I deserved more than that, and I like to think that if you could, you would understand that and agree.

I’m okay, I’m hurting, but I’m okay. I miss you, Kiki. I love you, and I always will. I have a partner who loves me more than anything in this world, and it feels so wonderful. I have Foxy now too, he needed someone, just like you did. He’s an old grumpy man, but I know that he’d love you just as I do. Maybe one day you’ll meet them, and we can be a family again. That’s what I dream about, and I wish you knew that.

All my love, forever and always,

Mum

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Inktober Day 15

WEAK

For today’s prompt ‘weak’ I have chosen to reference a shot from the UFC fight between Conor and Khabib. Neither men are weak by any stretch of the physical imagination, however Connor’s behaviour before the fight showed real weakness of character. Regardless of what happened after the fight and whether it was okay, or worthy of the respective punishments given, the way in which Coner presented himself to me showed real weakness. If the way that you gain followers and success is through bringing other people down, saying disgusting things about their culture, religion, family, and beliefs, you do not deserve any of it. Since I have started following MMA and learning more about the sport, I have gained a respect for the people who I watch fight, and who I see train so hard for what they do and love. It takes a lot to do what these people do, and there is no room for hatred in the picture. This is why my ‘weak’ inktober is a graphic novel style representation of Khabib taking Conor down.

INK TO FOLLOW!!!

The Hidden Ones

Behind smiles

a laugh

a quiet hello

they hide

 

Never too far

or too close

always there

they hide

 

Saying yes

standing strong

careful and calm

they hide

 

They never want to disappoint

saying yes, quietly smiling

but sometimes they need a hand to hold

to carry them from where they hide

 

*****

 

Just a quick little mind splatter for you there, long time I know, but I’m back – sort of. I hope you enjoyed it, and maybe even took something from it. See you after the next one. 

Mess

Mess

It shouldn’t be here

But I’m lost

There’s a missing piece

Something foreign

It isn’t where it should be

But am I?

Determination falls flat

As time passes, laughing

Time doesn’t laugh, I do

Lost

This isn’t what it should be

This should be different, somehow

Changed, twisted, beyond this

I need more time

Time isn’t kind or giving

It doesn’t exist, how can it?

I have to make my own

I have to stop

Mess

It won’t sort itself out

Get up.

 

Mock Me Not

“What are you doing?” Sarah asked. She walked around to Johnny’s desk and plucked the note book from beneath his crossed arms.

He sat back and sighed, before he said, “I was trying to make a start on my novel.”

“By sleeping on it?” she asked. She laughed and slid it back across to him. “What is it about?”

“You wouldn’t get it,” he said.

“Try me,” she uttered.

His eyes lit up, and the unwritten masterpiece played out in his mind.

There are two people walking into an alley way submerged in the darkness, and their shadows are thrown in front of them by the flickering orange streetlight at the entrance of their path. Neither of the figures have faces or names, they don’t need them, because suddenly the scenery changes and we are in a field. 

The sun and the delicate breeze soak the couple that are lying on their backs, looking up into the canopy of trees. Exotic birds are singing, and in the distance sirens can be heard, but the couple have yet to notice. 

The young man – tall, dark, and handsome – leans up onto his elbows and kisses his young lover on the lips. She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck, but they both stop and look across at the road as two police cars and an ambulance speed past. 

With reluctance they pack up their picnic and return to their car to drive back into the town. When they reach their home they take off their clothes and throw them onto their bedroom floor, and in one torturous minute of bone breaking pain they transform into wolves.

Once they are in their supernatural form they set off into the town, and before long they find the bodies. As soon as they turn their noses to the crime scene they know what has come to town.

“Vampires?” Sarah asked. She raised her brows and bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing.

“What’s wrong with vampires?” Johnny asked.

“Doesn’t everyone write about vampires?”

“Yeah, but mine are different. I have werewolves too.”

“That’s basically the plot to Twilight, but in reverse,” she said.

Johnny frowned and closed his notebook. “No it’s not,” he said. “Perry and Lisa are the town’s guardians.”

Twilight,” Sarah uttered.

“They fight crime and solve murders,” he said. “The wolves in Twilight don’t do that.”

“Wait, so you have crime fighting werewolves?”

Jonny nodded and Sarah started to laugh, but she apologised lightly and turned to leave the room as she caught sight of his scowl. She reached out to the handle, but the door opened before she touched it.

As the door slowly came to a stop, a rough voice asked into the room, “What’s wrong with crime fighting werewolves?”

Sarah stood back as the naked figure stepped into the room, and her face drained of colour.

Perry?” Johnny uttered in a breath, before he put his hand to his forehead and collapsed beneath his desk.


Hello! Thanks for reading, I hope that you enjoyed our brief encounter with Sarah and Jonny – it was as brief to write as it is to read, my favourite kind of story. Today I was kindly informed that it is my one year WordPress anniversary, so I decided to do a supernatural short story to mirror the story I posted when I first arrived here! See you next Saturday for more five minute stories!

Beth.